Good heavens, the year is just wasting away. For me, the shorter the days get the harder it is to stay motivated. It was a beautiful week – the perfect blend into fall weather. Cool mornings and warm afternoons usually bring out the best in me. But this year, already, I’m suffering strange seasonal doldrums. Proof of my spiraling funk is evidenced by the series Glee thundering loudly on my television 24/7. It is a dead giveaway – a sad, pathetic, self-deprecating yet emotionally satisfying giveaway.
Sometimes we just have to lean into this crazy lunacy we call life and force our own intervention. Reminiscing about good times or laughable escapades serves as a good distraction. So, let’s do it. Who wants to go first? Anyone? Okay, so I guess that means I will have to start. Out of the blue, I found myself remembering one of my most embarrassing moments. Residing in Southern California, yet still living the brownie-baking, barefoot, innocent lifestyle of a Midwesterner, I found myself the newest addition to a Temporary Placement Service called Remedy. It was a service that placed over 400 temporary employees weekly – 90% of which were classified as light industrial. We had huge contracts with factories, warehouses, loading docks, and other similar businesses. Unskilled laborers comprised the majority of candidates that walked through our doors. It was an exhausting rat race fueled by placing warm bodies in boring jobs and praying they showed up. Until one day, I looked up from my desk to see a blonde-haired blue-eyed boy-toy waltzing across the parking lot. It was like watching a male model strutting in slow motion. Mr. Chiseled Cheekbones, slaying real dress pants and a button-down collared shirt, with well-polished shoes (instead of jeans, t-shirts, and sneakers) was approaching our door. The first words out of my mouth were “This one’s mine.” I got no argument from my cohorts. I greeted him at the door, extended a professional handshake, and welcomed him to Remedy. I escorted him to my desk and began an informal introduction process. What a joy it was to have perfection seated before me. He actually spoke in full sentences. Then I saw it. Oh my gosh, he had clean fingernails. On a scale of one to ten, this guy was a 15! After some well-deserved pleasantries allowing me to bask in the animal magnetism of this young hunk, I asked him what brought him into Remedy today. “Oh, I’m just here to have lunch with my mom.” Silence in a room had never slapped me this hard. Mouth agape, I did a slow turn to the older associate on my left and saw her desperately trying not to burst with uncontrollable laughter. “Seriously,” I snarled, “You couldn’t have given me a little heads-up here before I dived off this cliff?” It was a classic faux pas that lifted our spirits often during our 20+ year friendship. Although incredibly funny, I turned a deeper shade of embarrassment every time we relived it. Okay, that worked. My spirits are officially brightened. Sometimes we cannot dwell on our misgivings but revel in our blessings. So, who is next? Share with us in the comments that moment that either catapulted you into the Legendary Legion of Laughter or slam-dunked you into the Shameful Hall of Lame Fame? I am hoping someone will graciously kick me to the curb and take the Throne. Under the guise of true confessions, I hate to admit I’m already to Season Five of Glee. Might as well enjoy the last two seasons anyway. Of all things, let it never be said I am a quitter. Ah, but that is fodder for yet another rant.
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AuthorJacque Jarrett Stratman |