How many of you rationalize how vibrant your life is? How meaningful is it really? This is a conversation that seems to have taken a front row in the production I call "My Life."

Sunday morning was a riot. I crawled out of bed and headed sleepily to the kitchen for liquid caffeine. From the corner of my eye, I saw a flash of white. What was that? I lifted the blind to see snow. I did not even know snow was in the forecast.

TV off, music off, hot coffee in hand, it became just me and my brain having a quiet romp through youthful memories. Of course it snowed. It is the onset of March Madness. Snow is a prerequisite. It made me reminisce and smile about days gone by. It never failed during Indiana High School basketball playoffs that we had a major snowfall. It was a given.

But then my brain took a detour. No surprise there. Those memories were from many, many years ago. And, as hard as I tried, I could not seem to connect the snow with anything else. Based on our recent weather, it was just a freak early Spring surprise.

And then it hit me. My life has a hole in it.

I have spent the last 20+ years virtually alone. Every action, thought, and plan has been based on work, financial needs, and emotional survival. Weather played no role whatsoever. Well, except for the black ice I hit on the way home from work one scary February night that introduced me broadside to the interstate guard rail.

Suddenly a blanket of regret smothered me. Surviving is not living - not really. Why did I choose that path? Did I choose it? Do we have those kinds of choices?

And WHAM. Instant wake-up call. Of course, we have choices. I obviously just made poor ones. I walked on the safe side of existence instead of the wild side. OK, so it did not have to be wild, it just should have been more deliberate.

But that regret was short-lived. The sun came out and I was flooded with loving images of friends, and family, and my sweet little Seeker. Our life successes are not always action-filled blockbusters. That "hole in my life" is just a place to find respite. It is surrounded by a high-speed racetrack. All I have to do is step on the accelerator to get back in the groove.

That groove, however, will not start in the snow! So today it will be fulfilling enough to find warmth in the comfort of home. Perhaps the next time I am startled by snow I will think of today. And that memory will remind me how life enlightens us sometimes with simple surprises. Ah, but that is fodder for yet another rant.

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