Sassy Sentiments and Other Random Rants!
  • Home
  • Blog
  • About
  • Funnies
  • Subscribe
  • Contact

A Necessary Evil

2/10/2021

4 Comments

 
​Food. Our entire lives revolve around it. Some of the best memories of holidays, birthdays, anniversaries, sporting events, and yes, even pandemic lockdowns are bountiful feasts. Those sensory and savory events, always enjoyable and meaningful, are a pleasure to anticipate, plan for, and execute. Sure they are. Does anyone really enjoy hours and hours, oh, and then more hours of stressful planning and preparation for 20 minutes of self-indulgence? Kudos to you chosen few!
 
Okay, so I have established that food can be fun for some. Let's talk about the nutritional sustenance aspect of this inconvenient necessity. We all need to eat to stay alive. That is certainly not a bombshell newsflash. God knows I love to eat. The daily hassle of having to plan, shop, and cook, however, is a pain. If it was financially feasible, I understand why eating out has become the largest national pastime. So why do I have such a disdain for this life-sustaining duty?
 
Grocery shopping - it is the bane of my existence. Even though I love to cook, it is by far my least favorite thing to do. As a matter of fact, I hate it. Give me the choice of laundry, bathroom cleaning, removing unidentifiable food products from the frig, or any other household chore and I would gladly choose anything but grocery shopping. I was fortunate to have partners in my life that offered to shop and far be it from me to decline. "Just make me a list," they would say, and I would excitedly and with great respect draft away. Oh, I am a certified wish list expert! The best part is that those who actually like to shop tend to linger and explore. So, I always delighted in emptying grocery bags to see what kind of surprises their adventure delivered. It was like discovering a hidden treasure chest of gold without having to dig for it.
 
But as a solitary soul who needs to eat to survive, it is simply a necessary evil. And the design of these purchasing monstrosities escapes logic. In my fits of irritation, I have become the queen of canned soup. Finding what you want is just too much like work.
 
Unlike the holidays, good cuts of meat like small rib roasts or lamb chops are no longer daily fare. You have to flag down a butcher and place a special order. Canned pumpkin, splattered all over store aisles and endcap displays just weeks ago, has mysteriously disappeared. You need a bona-fide treasure map to find it. And simple crackers? Doesn't it make sense they would be by the chips, pretzels, and other snacks? Oh no, they are on the candy aisle. And do not get me started about toothpicks.
 
Yes, I know, there are now all these order pick-up and delivery options. However, cracked eggs, wimpy celery, and no edible surprises placed with love in my grocery bags just do not cut it.
 
Maybe I should put this blog on hiatus and start working on an online dating profile: Whimsical yet prolific writer with a Tinkerbell complex (a delightful pixie-dust spreader, cute huh?) desires ruggedly handsome storybook Prince. Must promise to love, cherish, and grocery shop - not necessarily in that order. Ah but that is fodder for yet another rant. 
​
4 Comments
Terry
2/10/2021 07:58:45 am

Yet another humorously and enlightening rant. Looking forward to the next..

Reply
Jacque Stratman
2/10/2021 07:27:41 pm

Thank you Big T! Happy to be of service! ;-)

Reply
Michael
2/12/2021 09:33:55 am

I've got to stop opening your blog during morning coffee - I laughed so hard at your admission, "Grocery shopping - it is the bane of my existence."

I enjoy grocery shopping. I have hunted rabbits and squirrels with an eye of a shootist and resolve to bag my trophies. So it is with grocery shopping in the commercialized jungle. Unlike my wife, I go hard for the hunt, keen-eyed and targeting the BOGOs and lower priced items that I'd like to use in our meals (being the primary cook since we were married). When they were young teens, my ferreters accompanied me to the grocery labyrinths (1-3 in each quest) to flush out the best hidden prices...with coupons. I offered each hunter the split reward of money saved by the coupons (and I was lucrative at it!). The older two eventually retired early on; however, the youngest hung in there by my side to reap her money-saving dollars up until she left home. Today she and I compare our laurels about the savings we bagged at Publix...and I still boast my accomplishments to the other two.

Another entertaining blog struck my funny bone! Your bane brought back fun memories.

Reply
Jacque Stratman
2/12/2021 09:54:03 am

Ah ha! Inclusion as a kid must be what is missing! Not to mention that I have also never been a "hunter" in any fashion!

What a fun story, Mike! And, what a creative idea to include your kids to not only introduce them to one of life's necessities but also to teach them the value of savings. Very cool...!

Reply



Leave a Reply.

    Author

    ​Jacque Jarrett Stratman
    Anderson, Indiana
    ​Lover of all things funny, fanatical and outrageous.


    ​SUBSCRIBE HERE!

    Picture
    https://www.symptoma.es
Site powered by Weebly. Managed by Exact Hosting
  • Home
  • Blog
  • About
  • Funnies
  • Subscribe
  • Contact