Wow. I let an entire week get away from me. Oh, I got up every day, did my duty, nourished my body, and clocked a few hours as a real person. But my focus was gone. Poof. Gone. And I honestly do not know if that was a good thing, or not.
This morning I awakened at 3:08 AM and realized I had not written a word in 13 days. Guilt immediately washed over me, and I jumped out of bed like I was an hour late for work.
I brewed a cup of coffee, took a moment to savor how good it tasted, and grabbed my laptop.
It felt like I had not touched it in ages. Have you ever had a moment like that? When something old feels new again? It is a good feeling! (Note to self: Make this feeling happen more often.)
So off I went on my usual journey down the big black hole. I checked my email – nothing of interest to note. I always try to scan the local news but when the headlines are nothing but death and destruction I move along. I need to find my inspiration elsewhere.
And oh goodie. A winter storm warning is my new truth – predicting 4-8 inches of snow overnight. January has been so ridiculously mild that I cannot even muster a grunt of despair. It is January in Indiana after all, and I need a reason to don my new thermal underwear anyway.
Then it is onward to social media. Notifications are out of control. Good news, sad news, funny news, and ads up the wazoo. The experience is just not what it used to be. I have to seriously dig through grunge to find the good stuff. Yet I still ponder – how did we stay in touch without it? Even more importantly, how did I ever live without knowing what someone’s cat did during a thunderstorm?
Ah, but then I saw it. Why didn’t Facebook notify me? Readers – we did it! I not only hit my 6,000 milestone, I surpassed it by 144! That’s right – 6,144 followers! My fingers are tingling; my heart is racing; it is time to celebrate. Since it is too early for wine (even for me!), I need more coffee!
And just like that, I am refreshed. I started this journey over two years ago to simply empty an overactive brain. I never dreamt for a minute that strangers might find even a spark of interest, a flash of entertainment, or a moment of resolve in my thoughts. I am so glad that I have shared them.
I realize that 6,144 followers do not an influencer make, but I am humbled and ever so blessed to have found my own little niche of personal freedom. Each of you has helped liberate me from my fear of not being enough. To feel worthy is to feel loved. And I thank you all so much.
But let’s get back to that cat in a thunderstorm. Did I really need to see that? Ah, but that is fodder for yet another rant.
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