It has been a crazy few days. Up down, in out, go stay, right wrong, wine or not? Would someone just help me make an intelligent decision? Choices are dangling all around me without rhyme or reason. I think I need an intervention.
Okay, so I have just lost my mojo - you can sidebar the intervention. I remember when decision-making was black and white – no gray areas – not even a maybe. And then one day it became 5,862 shades of gray (give or take a few). When did I decide it had to be difficult? And how did I come to this state of mind?
We all know that decision-making is a reasoning process based on one’s assumptions of values, preferences, and beliefs. It is a cognitive mechanism that generally results in a rational – or irrational – course of action. Ah, but the kicker here is that oftentimes we jump to conclusions based on not-so-explicit information.
Of course, in my humble opinion, the delineation of rational vs. irrational is meaningless anyway. Rationality is relative, right? Everyone’s interpretation of “the ability to reason” waivers across the board. Unless a conclusion is beyond a shadow of a doubt, who can pass judgment? And who defines the shadow of a doubt?
Is anyone else confused here? I am simply trying to decide if I should wear boots or shoes. Should I go to the grocery today or tomorrow? Is my flannel jacket enough or should I wear my heavy coat? Thank goodness it was easy enough to choose coffee over tea.
I wonder…did this unacceptable indecisiveness happen overnight? Or did it come crashing down like an overloaded pantry shelf when one too many cans of soup were added? Yes, I am just a hot mess.
I have always believed that decisive wisdom was the compilation of years of successes, failures, good choices, and bad decisions. Today I feel as though I blew a circuit breaker. My confidence is intact, and my energy level is unabashedly youthful, but my brainwaves are lost in the Bermuda Triangle.
So, I am curious. Do you have overload days too? An elder friend today, in a bit of an unnerving state of confusion, said to me, “I am not buckled very tight today, am I?” I reassured him we all have those days, yet the serendipitous simplicity of his acknowledgment slapped me silly. I am not buckled very tight today either.
But tomorrow is near and while bedrest can be an elusive healer, I have an inkling that I will awaken with newfound resolve. Will it be shoes or boots? Ah, but that is fodder for yet another rant.
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Jacque Jarrett Stratman