Puddle Jumping

Oh my gosh, gee whiz, son of a buck, grrrr. It is Wednesday and I have no blog. First of all, how could it possibly be Wednesday already? Secondly, how can a die-hard blowhard not have something to say? It is one of the top unsolved mysteries of the world.
 
I do have an idea, but I have to give you a little backstory.
 
My lot in life these days is waiting for the Federal Government to clear my background and allow my employer to provide certified access to proprietary systems. This journey started back in February and has yet to be resolved. Yes, it is May and nearly June. A full quarter of the work year has been spent waiting. For the record… waiting eight hours a day is more exhausting than working.
 
To fill my time while I wait, and after obligatory courses, I am expected to access the company’s learning library, stay busy, and get smart. Sounds like a dream job, huh? Initially, it actually was! I found content in this library that was educational, motivating, thought-provoking, and useful. It was kind of fun.
 
However, these past couple of weeks, I discovered specific audiobooks that have nailed my inadequacies. Oh, joy. These much younger entrepreneurial visionaries have insight that could cut holes through steel. It is illuminating and frightful at the same time.
 
One book I could not stop listening to was “Soundtracks: The Surprising Solution to Overthinking,” by Jon Acuff (#soundtracks; @JonAcuff). Jon doesn’t realize it – geez, he’s never even met me – but he wrote this book about me. I am the epitome of that person who cannot get out of their own way. And the worst part? I am 100% aware that I do it. Isn’t that a hoot?
 
Jon reiterates that overthinking runs on soundtracks – and a broken soundtrack is the worst kind of fear. My soundtracks: “I can’t do it. I’m not good enough. I’m too old. I don’t have time.” He instructs us to ask three simple questions about each soundtrack: Is it true? Does it help or hinder? Is it kind to you?
 
Are the answers to those questions not the absolute “Duh?” Of course, it isn’t true. Of course, it doesn’t help. And double duh, it is not even remotely kind to me. So, I listened and listened intently.
 
I was exceptionally drawn to one of his childhood memories. As a kid, while watching what he deemed to be one the scariest movies ever, Jaws, he found himself lifting his feet off the floor so “sharks” couldn’t find him. That action derived from the thought that he would be safe if he lifted his feet. And that action continued into adulthood when life got scary.
 
Now, Jaws came out in 1975. I was drawn to that analogy because even though I was an adult by that time, after watching the movie, I found myself walking around puddles for the same reason. Who knows what lurks below the water? Overthinking results when thoughts impact actions.
 
So, I am on a mission – to replace my soundtracks with positivity. I read once that change is hard. But the follow-up to that declaration is that change is not hard – it is just a decision to be made. It is implementing and maintaining change that is hard.

But I will learn that I can do it, I am good enough, I am not too old, and I will find the time.

That sounds like a Saturday Night Live skit to me.  Ah, but that is fodder for yet another rant.

Share your thoughts!  Click the word Comments below and tell me what you think!
​​​​​