The Cat and the Canary

Ok, so today is my birthday... Yay me! BUT the big news this week is that I am on vacation from work! The funny news is that I had to pull out my dictionary to remember what a vacation is supposed to be.
 
Yes, it has been that long... And yes, it is more than overdue.
 
My life these days is absolutely nutzoid. Settling into full-time work again has been invigorating but challenging. Had anyone told me that walking from my bedroom to my Home Office to work an 8+ hour day would exhaust me, I would have belly-laughed in their face.
 
But I have learned that work is work. It does not matter where you happen to plop your boney little ass.
 
I have found new ways to lighten my load though. It is the utter decadence of grocery delivery. For months I have listened to friends tout this ridiculous offering and could not even begin to fathom why anyone would pay for such a service.
 
And then our notoriously inaccurate weather reporters started dangling threats of a winter apocalypse. Hmmm? Maybe just this once… just in case.
 
It’s a drug, I tell you, and as addictive as potato chips with French onion dip.  Once, and you’re hooked. Get a load of this...
 
Snuggled under my heated throw, wine in hand, with fuzzy slippers adorning my ever-so-tired feet (from walking that horrendous 70 feet to my office), I open the app on my phone.
 
While I am pretty much a boring, same-stuff-every-week kind of buyer, I allow my head to lean back in my overstuffed chair to ponder on what delicacies I might splurge on this week. No waltzing up and down aisles looking for . . . something.
 
I just let my mind wander, escape in the velvety softness and floral delicacy of an indulgent Pinot Noir, and let my fingers do all the work.  
 
People, this is as calming as transcendental meditation for me. It totally rocks! Without a doubt, it is the best $6.95 I will ever spend on myself. And to quote my beloved grandmother, it is the greatest thing since sliced bread.
 
And if that didn’t validate the price of admission, imagine 20 lb. bags of birdseed, bags of heavy canned goods, and anything else substantial in size and weight, all delivered to your doorstep. No more hauling it from store to car and from car to kitchen.
 
Can you see my devilish little grin? I am the cat that bagged the canary.
 
So, during this time of lollygagging and dilly-dallying, I will arrange for my necessities to be on my doorstep at my leisure. And this time I think I will order with a Foo-Foo cocktail in hand. I wonder if they can deliver those cutesy little umbrellas too?
 
Now, if I could only get them to put it away and start dinner. I am the birthday girl after all. Ah, but that is fodder for yet another rant.
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