Living alone provides a crazy mix of yays and yucks. Work with me here. The slang is much more fun than pros and cons. I have lived that dreamy nightmare for years now. So many people seem to think it would be the best of all worlds - no distractions, freedom to think, play, and sleep at will. Those are definitely yays. But the yucks can completely overpower them.
Much like being self-employed being alone requires a monumental amount of self-discipline. When there is no one to please or motivate it is ridiculously easy to do nothing. Who cares if I run the vacuum today? No one knows but me. And those dirty dishes in the sink? They can wait until tomorrow, or the next day, or the day after that. Now, that will sound unbelievably tempting to many, but procrastinating today's needs bleeds uncontrollably into all aspects of your life. Trust me. I am an expert.
Yes, there have been weekends where I never saw the light of day. Pajama-clad, I dined on chocolate for breakfast, popcorn for lunch, and Cinnamon Toast Crunch for dinner. No, that was not a healthy bowl of cereal but half a box as a finger-food snack. Sound delicious? It is until your blood sugar drops to the neglectful idiot stage and your energy level mirrors that of an overfed pig. With no kids of my own, no grandkids wanting to bake cookies with Grandma, and next to zero chance of a surprise knock on my door, it is too easy to become self-indulgent on whims without consequence. And boy, does it ever play havoc with emotions.
It is unbelievable to me how so many people dismiss the roles of intimate relationships in our lives. The phrase “no man is an island” originated 400 years ago by English metaphysical poet John Donne. As the Dean of St. Paul’s cathedral in London, it is said he penned those thoughts on a grim Christmas Eve amid a deadly pandemic. Even Aristotle once said, “Man is a social animal. He who lives without society is either a beast or God.” Without sharing all of life’s little quirks with someone special, life takes on a completely different repulsion. I realize that is a strong word. It just somehow fits.
I am a far cry from anti-social, and God knows I am not a beast, but lack of interaction with the masses sometimes toys with my ability to evaluate situational intent. Seriously. I can over or under-react with the snap of my fingers. Isolation definitely dilutes emotional aptitude and so in public, we become bulls in China shops.
As a result, our lives become a big fishbowl of emotions. Have you ever stopped to really observe fish in an aquarium? They float aimlessly in an overcrowded fishbowl and never crash into anything, including each other. Humans are not always that perceptive and solitude somehow disrupts anything resembling that kind of radar. You become more of a crash test dummy than a conscientious observer. I truly understand why it is imperative that children complete their education physically in school. Social skills are not inherent. They are learned through communal experience and can diminish equally as fast without that exposure.
So... Life as a single woman - exhilarating and debilitating. There are days I love it and days I hate it. It is a contradiction that defies understanding. The most tolerable aspect? I can be a confidently insecure and steadfastly fickle blog writer without judgment. What more could a girl ask for? Ah, but that is fodder for yet another rant.